The Second Arrow

What it captures

The compounding cost of replaying (the meeting, the message, the moment) long after the strategic value is gone.

Tracey's explanation

Borrowed from the Buddhists. The first arrow is the thing that happened. The second arrow is the next month of you re-firing it at yourself in the shower, in the car, at 3am. Most of your damage in separation comes from the second arrow, not the first.

How to use it this week

Catch the loop. Two minutes of name-it-out-loud ("I'm second-arrowing the affair conversation") and then a hard pivot to one tactical task. Doesn't fix it. Stops the bleeding.